Happy New Year - I'm baacckkkkkk

Wow, has it really been over a year since I have blogged. Time flies so quickly - a lot has happened in the past year - I now have two Master degrees - MBA and a MSA (Master of Science in Accounting). My camera broke so I haven't been able to take pictures which is one reason  excuse that I told myself I stopped blogging. I think I have become addicted to Facebook as I seem to always find time to do that. I think this blog is going to be more of a healing blog for me than fashion this year. I  have reached a point in my life of evaluation - my finances have crumbled - I have an appt this Friday to file for Chapter 13, I feel really crappy about this - a failure almost. I make good money but the budget was for two incomes and I never accepted that I needed to change the lifestyle. I ended up getting cash advances trying to maintain his lifestyle until my entire paychecks were consumed by paying the cash advances and the bills not getting paid. Perhaps I am just blaming him to make myself feel better but it seems that everything is all about him or perhaps I am getting selfish as I age. This year is going to be about me though. the bankruptcy is going to be hard as I will not have much money left to live on but my bills will be paid and I won't be losing my house.  The house is not big and fancy but it was an accomplishment and blessing from God. I don't really understand how I got here - I really don't live extravagantly - I have a modest home, I drive a modest car, and I don't shop - well...I guess my weakness is eating out. I am going to focus living below my means going forward. I sit here this morning - overdrawn in my account, one diet coke, and thinking about how to come up with gas money for the upcoming week for work. Have I completely bummed you out? On the bright side, I'm sitting here looking at the sunshine outside and I am STILL in my home that surrounded by things I love and have received many blessings in 2015.

To recap:

Last  year for my birthday my aunt gave me the money to update my bathroom floor and my son put it down for me
The bathroom floor before -



The below is the after - I got a new toilet too - I love love my bathroom - the floor has sparkles in it too :)

My son bought his first house - after being free from his addiction to pain bills - he has come a long way - I am worried that he is back sliding as his girlfriend left him and there are a few signs - I pray that I am wrong and that the pills won't get him - I do not think I can go through all of that again  - he has gotten really thin

My daughter has a had a rough year as well - her husband OD's (he lived) in a hotel room with a prostitute while supposed to be out getting dinner for the family, he was in ICU for 2 weeks, she had a car wreck, and then the Monday before Christmas the company that I have worked for almost 18 years let her go - I felt betrayed but I must look at that this is a new beginning for her

Here is the grand baby and both my children - they are a HUGE blessing but I am worried to death about them both




My brother was also a blessing to me this year - first he invited me to go on a family vacation in Gatlinburg at a the most amazing cabin at no cost to me at all and then my stove died and he sent me money to replace




How are things going for you? This is a new year and new beginnings - hope you join and share with me your goals and let us heal together and become better people. Happy New  Year - I have missed yall