So what is the difference between "settling" and "accepting the truth"? For instance, I wanted a mansion but I had to "settle" for what I could afford. Which brings another thought, have you ever known someone that no matter what they achieved or had, they were never happy because they were always wanting more or competing with others? I have. I came to feel sorry for them and that was the moment that I decided to be happy with what I had and not concern myself with I didn't have. I accepted my middle class fate as it finally dawned on me that if I am always thinking about what I didn't have, when would the time come that I had everything I wanted? Is that settling? That does not mean that I still don't want things - I just don't let it ruin my enjoyment for what I do have and I do not let the strategy for achieving the "wants" consume me. Well, except for maybe the weight loss thing, but you know, we all have our "thing" :)
And then there is ambition, if you have a job that you truly love but you are qualified to do a job that would pay you ALOT more money, are you settling in the job you love or do you lack ambition? I think those answers are what is in the heart and the mindset of that person in that moment of their life's priorities. I think that "what you deserve" and "settling" is dependent on each individuals definition. What is deserving to me, may seem like settling to someone else. Do you feel you have the life you deserve or did you settle? If you settled, why do you think that?
I think as we age (and grow up) what we thought we wanted our lives to be like~ rarely ends up to be what we get. For example, I am not a 130 lb breathlessly beautiful Internationally known artist, trend setter and author married to Sean Bean and living on a beautiful English Estate with our four equally beautiful and wickedly intelligent children and an assortment of dogs, horses and ducks.
ReplyDeletebut I digress, what I do have is a tiny but beautiful and comfortable home that I love, a job (not a career) with decent pay and good benefits a short drive from home. I buy my clothes at discount prices, and can barely keep up with the trends, much less set them. I have a husband who loves me, smart, beautiful, children and devoted mutt dogs. I am not a successful artist..but I actually do sell a piece or two here and there for a few bucks once in awhile, but really I prefer to give my work as gifts, not for money. I still love to write.. and am the author of quite a few witty emails...but I just do not see writing the "Great American Novel" in my future. and I am ok with that....I would rather read it..
So did I settle?
Not as far as I am concerned. I may not be living the life I imagined when I was 20. But I am pleased with the life I have. I do not make a huge salary, or drive a fancy car. or get to travel to exotic places. Many of my friends do. But that is their story, not mine. If my friends have something material I want...I may put it on my "wish" list or obtain a version of it in my price range...but I can't say I covet what they have. Again, that is their life story. Not mine.
Maybe I have to work a bit harder for the things I have...or the things I want to do. but in the end. It is all worth it. I think it is much more satisfying to enjoy what you have rather than brood about what you don't. Life is too short and sweet to waste on worrying about material possessions and petty competition. the more you cheer on your friends and enjoy the basic simple things in life. The fuller your life will feel and happier and more content you will become.
It’s not settling...its recognizing quality when you see it.
See Stacy, I may not comment often...but when I do it’s a biggun :)
I have to be honest here.
ReplyDeleteBefore I always wanted more. Now, I just want to do stuff with what I have.
I don't know if it makes sense. For example we bought an old house and my dream now is to restore it. But, I do think that it's ok to want more as long as you don't make that the reason for your existence and also that you enjoy it. I also think it's healthy when it's possible and not when it' s just something that is not going to happen. Feet must be on the ground.