Monday, March 14, 2011

Weekend - Being Something I'm Not

The view from the first swing on the Greenway - sooo relaxing

Taylor checking out the swing - the Greenway was FAB
She was a wondeful walking buddy :) Hope we can do it again SOON
This weekend was pretty good. Saturday was PERFECT - it was sunshine and 77 degrees, had the windows open and Taylor came by and we checked out the new GreenWay that my town has created for walking, riding bikes, and enjoying nature. I must say I really am impressed, the views were beautiful and they had picnic tables and swings looking out on enjoyable views. It was a great family atmosphere, saw families, with children on bikes, children on skates, adults on skates and even the furry, four-legged additions of families were represented. I have a pic of my friend, Taylor, trying out the swing and the view from that swing. FAB!!! There are two different paths to choose from, one is 2 miles and  the other is 2.6 miles. Experiencing this makes me feel less grumpy about property taxes going up AGAIN :) No recipes tried this weekend, Mr. Man made german ghoulash and got some gelbwurst (I call it German bologna) YUM YUM I didn't lose any weight this week :( but I didn't gain. I need to up my exericise.

Sunday I slept in until 11, missed church, the time change doesn't really agree with me. You know what else doesn't agree with me, criticism. I have a huge charachter flaw that I want everyone to like me and it bothers me when I think someone doesn't. One reason most quoted by folks for not liking a person is the phrase of "trying to be something they're not". What does that mean exactly? There are plenty of  quotes about it:

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume, Contretemps

You were born an original. Don't die a copy. ~John Mason

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. ~Andre Gide

I have a few questions about that phrase that I am hoping to figure out. Where is the line between self-improvement and growth  and "being something you're not" and why can't that person be that "something" said they aren't?  Is the phrase said out of jealousy or meanness? What action prompted this comment? Does not divulging "embarassing secrets" and only revealing positive things about oneself constitute being something you're not?

I know that I have been on quest to find myself and make changes in myself and life. I have been excited about the new roads my life has taken. Blogging was one thing that I ventured out of my comfort zone and was so afraid that people would think it was stupid, I have decided that I am having so much fun with it that I probably wouldn't notice if they did :)

You see, I had fallen into being negative and lost. I still struggle with some of my insecurities and am lucky to have a friend who reminds me to keep my goals in focus and remember that I am doing fine without "them". I actually wrote it and have it pinned up at my desk with a list of my goals this year.

Thinking about this phrase, I came up with some behaviour modifications that I may try to ensure that I don't offend anyone unintentionally:

1) Think before I speak: Work to not seem like a braggert when excited and wanting to share my accomplishments or something new that I have learned/accomplished.
2) Listen as well as talk. Make  sure that I don't get so carried away that I dominate conversations about "ME ME ME" :)
3) Remember that NOT everyone is going to like me and to not take it personally.

I also found some tips React-when-Insulted-or-Teased:
*       Keep your cool when someone starts making nasty remarks to you or about you in your presence. Act as if he is not really hurting your feelings.
*        Remember, if it is a close friend, don't run away, make a funny comment back and if you can't think of one, just say, sarcastically "harsh" or "Ooh...I'm so hurt!"
*       If your friends are the ones that usually tease you, step back and evaluate your relationship with them. Do they really mean to make you laugh, or make you feel bad? Perhaps if they tease you so much, you should stop being friends with them.
*       Use a standard comeback: Really? (if you want to find out their motives). Just look at them in disbelief, saying something like 'Are you trying to hurt me?' (most people will back down). Whatever (same as walking away).
*       Simply do not be insulted. Their remark is as insincere as flattery. If they want to have a problem with you, that is their problem.
Have you ever been accused of being something you're not? How did you handle it? What do YOU think the is the difference between trying to be something you're not and trying to improve?


  1. I think the difference is in 'intention'. You know how a "Lounge Lizard" feels slimey and makes your skin crawl? You just know he is NOT at all nice underneath.. Somehow the true us shines through to people and when we put on airs it is so obvious.. but when we try to, genuinly try to, change ourselves our hearts are in the right place and that shines through too.. Maybe Sincerity is the keyword..

  2. Trying to be something you're not...and trying to improve...almost an oxymoron!

    How do butterflies come about? They start out as caterpillars...and through "metamorphosis", the earth bound caterpillars become beautiful creatures of the wind -- this process, metamorphosis, is defined as "a profound change in form from one stage to the next in the life history of an organism". Emphasis on "A PROFOUND CHANGE".

    In general, most people are afraid of change...hence the hesitant reaction one receives when trying to better themselves. Change doesn't happen overnight - rather, over a period of time where small changes are repeated every day until a new habit is formed...Stay true to yourself, and remember "other people's opinions of you are non of your business!"